The Gray Zone

I've been thinking about the relationships I've been in...I don't believe in exes so I don't get too deeply involved. I'm a strong believer in things are black and white and there are no gray areas and even those can be black or white. I was talking to a good friend of mine today that said the highs in life are the white zones and the lows in life are the black zones and everything in between in gray. But why? Why does a gray exist? Can it be just be that we've created so much turmoil, loopholes and bs in our lives we need a gray area to jutify all the bs and mistakes? Maybe I'm being to harsh on the world and on other people but I like to think of myself as a free spirit and someone that listens and open up but not so easily. I've been in postions that things are this or that and there's no other way about it.
I was in a 3 yr high abusive relationship that turned into an abusive marriage. Now that's not gray at all...every time I was kicked, hit, or bleeding according to him-"it was my fault," and there was no one to tell me that it wasn't. There was no one to tell me other wise so I believed him but one day realized it wasn't my fault and he's just an abusive jerk that will keep on abusing women. Was there any gray are there? NO! But now he is truly an ex-husband and on to another woman to abuse. Being the kind person I am, I messenged her b/c he didn't want a divorce so I told her everything-ok well not everything but a brief overview. He then told me, she was angry and that their relationship was over and once again it was my fault. I didn't believe it was , according to him "she forgot he was married." Really? How could you forget the guy you're dating is married? LIE!! No gray areas.
I'm a very analytical person and believe things are the way they seem and nothing more. I take people at face value b/c ppl show who they are in a matter of seconds not years. I'm a very up front blunt kind of person and I care about how people feel but not to the point of not telling them what I think. So many people say "keep 100," "say it like it is," but when they hear it, they don't like it. Keeping it 100 means that telling the truth no matter the outcome. And if I do that I'm called everything under the sun so in reality you don't want me to keep it 100, you just want me to sugar coat things for you...nope sorry wrong person!
Another one of my friends had told me I treat men like business transactions and once I'm done with them, I "fire" them b/c I'm afraid of getting too close. I'm not afraid of getting "too close" but the reality of it is, is that if there is no need for them and you're getting on my nerves and play wayyy to many games then Monopoly then I'm over it. I have a child and the last thing I need is another child or someone acting like a child.


So in life, well in my life I don't believe in gray zones/areas...I believe in Keeping 100 and having things black and white and the rest in between is either a high or a low and there is no in between about it. But that's just me.