Learning to Maintain

Most day I've thought about doing a blog for enjoyment of others and myself but this one is mostly for others.
Learning to maintain in times of death, destruction and disaster isn't an easy feat...we say what we have to, to get through the day, we act like everything is normal when we're crying on the inside but those tears and never strong enough to surface. No one can see you hurt, pain and agony that you've been through..those closest to you may not even realize a great tragedy has happened. Often times you maintain when you don't want to feel and absolutely nothing bad has happened but maybe a bad argument. But a kind word or funny word. Sometimes you just need to maintain because the stresses of life are all coming to head and you feel like the world is caving in you. But you remember the words of a mentor that welcomed you with open arms and never gave up on you no matter how much you wanted to give up on yourself. You remember those words and know that everything will get better because the only way down is UP! And you can only go up, once you've hit your rock bottom. You can only go up once you learn to maintain, you can only go up after death, destruction and disaster.
You've learned to maintain through broken hearts, missed opportunities and other love variables. You've learned to maintain after a horrible one night stand and laugh about it the next day when you're sober enough to remember. You've learned to maintain after losing your first love.
When you feel like there is NO ONE absolutely at all for you and the 1 person you thought would care and understand didn't answer their phone or reply to your text.
Technology is a Catch-22...it helps us connect with each other but it also gives us a false sense that we actually know the people we call "friends" and "followers." In another way it makes us very unpersonable like we don't know how to be true friends. Bad news travels a lot faster than good news....and in our world of facebook, twitter, foursquare and whatever else is out there news travels that much faster. As my dad says "in the good ol' days..." people would call with bad news and good news...now bad news is sent via text, tweet, or facebook chat. No its not a bad thing because I don't want anyone to hear my tears but somethings I don't mind exiting my meeting, my office in order to take a phone call...I already know its bad news but I guess reading just makes it real b/c once its written its out there FOREVER!!
So in order to maintain we pray to God, Jehovah, Allah, Jesus and whomever else for strength and whomever is the hearer of prayers and it may help for a little while for weeks you still grieve so you find a different way to maintain. And then you realize that you've become someone else shoulder to cry on. You've realized that someones tragedy is your greatest strength. You've learned how to maintain for someone else because no one was there for you in your time of need.
In order to close the chapter on losses of lives, loves and life in general we play songs that may lift our spirits for 3-4min, and go to sleep knowing that person is in a better place. But on days of sunshine and rain we still think about them and realize..why did I have to go through this-this pain, this agony which seems like its never going to end? They're no longer suffering so why do i? Why should I? And years of therapy, friends and other peoples stories tell you, you don't have to be in this pain FOREVER! At this you realize that you don't have to be in pain or suffer so you learn a whole different way of maintaining.
In all of us we all maintain some sort of facade of strength, piousness, fortitude and boldness but know that there was a time we needed a shoulder to cry on and that person wasn't there. You realize that you find other ways to turn pain into pleasure-art, work, family, or whatever awesomeness that's inside you that's what you do.
But just know I'm no more than a text, tweet or facebook message away from being that shoulder.
Sometimes being strong for everyone else leaves little room for someone to be strong for you but you learn to pour your heart, mind and soul into other things that you love and that becomes your shoulder so you can maintain for others.